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Bespoken

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My wife, Dr. Bindu Mayi; Professor, Author and all around amazing person, is bespoken for and she is one of a kind. We married after only four months of meeting, but the same cannot be said for anything else I have bespoken for since then. These include a Savoir bed and Italian suits, shirts and shoes.

If Bindu and I had gotten engaged and agreed to wait a year until we were betrothed, it would have been fine. We would have set a date, kept in touch, assessed our progress and continually grown in overall excitement even if we lived in different parts of the world. At the time, I was in Florida and she in NY.

When I compare this to my other bespoke experiences it is the opposite. They also, each respectively, took one year, like my engagement example, but there was no set date, no constant keeping in touch and assessing progress and consequently the excitement waned at times, almost to the point of disappointment.

I realize I am talking to a very small population of people who might be interested in taking this journey of getting engaged with a tailor. But it is information I wish I would have come across before my journey began, and I have read a lot on the subject. Even if I tell you that you are going to wait on average a year for a custom hand-made suit, shirt or pair of shoes, which no one told me, there are steps in between that could cause you frustration if you are not laid back enough.

The tailors and shoe makers I know, don’t have large staffs of people keeping in touch with you, letting you know things are progressing nicely, sending you update photos, reminding you of your upcoming appointment, jumping to answer your latest text or email or telling you ahead of time that the thing that was supposed to be ready for that appointment isn’t ready yet. They don’t have those people to do those things and for the most part, no one does them. It is part of the experience. And if you know this going in, it is fine. It is like having Brazilian friends. Once you know them for the amazing culture they represent, you don’t mind when they show up an hour late for your dinner party. You are happy to see them and they will be the life of the party.

This is what the bespoke journey is like. Knowledge and understanding will keep you calm and flexible during the process and in the end you will have an amazing and unique experience that you will want to repeat again and again.

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